The latest happenings of Sim City

Previously: 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, 1.4, 1.5

Season Two starts off with the theft(!) of the family’s pet garden gnome and the birthday of lovely Ivy who is now able to vote and legally drink. After graduating from high school with honors, Ivy promptly joined the local soccer team and continued her quest to make the world skinny.

Her first victim was half-sister Hayley, who it turns out is now the girlfriend to a man named Stiles. Yes, that Stiles. Since Innloine never informed her youngest daughter about her first marriage, let alone husband, Ivy was pretty clueless on why this situation might be awkward. Even after being informed, Ivy didn’t care.

Iris was pretty determined to make her and Marcus official, so after work they met up at the beach where Iris was very impressed with some random tourist. The tourist ran away as fast as she could. No matter! Sim City doesn’t require witnesses so the two lovebirds switched to more formal attire and said their vows.

Deciding to stop by for a visit, Isabelle reveals her plump stomach: it would seem she would not only beat Iris to the altar, but she would be the one to make Innloine a grandmother first. Iris is not happy about this and a lifelong competition (that only Iris is aware of) shall begin.

Iris explains to Marcus that she needed to get with child yesterday so he better step up his game and take a couple of little blue pills. Be careful what you wish for.

Upon confirming her pregnancy, Marcus gives himself a thumbs up on a job well done.

No one really cares to know what Iris did during her pregnancy so let’s fast forward to her going into labor in the bathroom.

Izzy (yes…Izzy) comes home to his new attic bedroom that he shares with his parents and aunt Ivy. Unlike her own parents, Iris actually got the gender she desired!

The birth of their son was just the kick Marcus and Iris needed to pump up their careers because no one in their right mind would want to share a room with Satan Spawn II.

On the rare occasions when Izzy isn’t crying and pooping he stares with evil intent at his grandmother. Innloine avoids the baby as much as she can.

After poking some holes in Marcus’ condoms, Iris finds herself giving sacrifice to the porcelain god once again.

Izzy grows up a very…interesting looking toddler. From some angles, especially those blocking most of his face, he almost looks decent.

Feeling the beginnings of new life inside her isn’t enough to quell Iris’ rage when she goes to visit her sister: She might soon outnumber her in offspring but Isabelle still has a larger bank account even if her husband doesn’t work or even know how to spell the word “employment”. Bitterness.

Meanwhile, Izzy cries.

Marcus decides to ask his wife about her weight gain and is informed about the facts of life.

And just in time, too! Soon after breaking the news to Marcus, Iris’ water breaks during breakfast. Innloine panics before figuring out to take her daughter to the hospital, Reuben breaks out into interpretive dance, and Izzy just wants his damn toys.

With everyone out of the house, Reuben takes out his weapon of choice and confronts little Izzy.

And promptly takes him over to a waiting birthday cake so he can grow up and wipe himself from now on.

Iris and Marcus’ new son, Ion, once home, proceeds to scream just as loudly as his elder brother did. So much so, that the camera crew decided to just forget about filming until he grew up enough to know when to sleep like normal sims. To the delight of everyone but Izzy, Ion looks far more human looking.

In rare moments the children almost seem angelic.

Those who live with them know it is all a lie. Ion screams more as a toddler than he did as an infant and in a higher frequency than his brother. Izzy has no motivation and zones out in front of the TV.

Iris’ one comfort is a visit from her niece, Marissa, who is just as awkward looking as her cousin Izzy. Isabelle doesn’t have it all after all!