The latest happenings of Sim City

Previously: Episode One, Episode Two, Episode Three

BIRTHDAY TIME!!!! Both girls were just thrilled to pieces to be entering the horror show known as puberty. They were so gleeful Innloine threatened to send them off to visit their (dead) grandmother. Just look at Iris! She’s so happy she’s nearly jumping out of her skin.

The girls grew into young ladies who still looked very much like their cheatin’ daddy. And despite being a teen, Isabelle has already developed bags under her eyes. Perhaps this is a lesson about spending your childhood years with nose pressed against the TV screen. Iris grew her hair out and began checking the sink and stove on a regular basis.

As a celebratory gift for the whole family, Iris had a new pool installed in the backyard. It was rather small, but it is the thought that counts. However, even though initially excited and eager to dip his feet into the cool waters, Stiles came to the sudden conclusion that swimming in a pool built by Iris wouldn’t be good for his health.

With her “Drown Papa” plan a flop, Iris tried a different attack. And thus it was that late one evening she approached her mother and told her how very sorry she was, so sorry!, for the transgressions her father had committed. It would seem Innloine was unaware of the extent of Stiles’ fling with Zelda. Oops! 0:)

After changing out of her underwear, Innloine goes to confront Stiles who admits to his affair through snobs and snot. Innloine is not impressed and kicks him out of the house tout de suite. But don’t feel sorry for homegirl! It seems she was already on very “friendly” terms with her boss, Reuben Deloach. After divorcing her hubby she goes into the bathroom (but of course) and invites potential lover boy over.

After a few drinks and grilled cheese sandwiches, Innloine whipped out a ring (doubtful she payed for a real stone this time either) and proposed to Reuben. Next to the garbage can. You stay classy, Inny!

Reuben, learning from Stiles mistakes, decided to make clear to his potential love interest that he only really had interest in being friends. This move perhaps saved his life from his step-daughter.

Innloine, being Innloine, demanded a consummation of the marriage ASAP in her wonderfully decorated red bedroom. Reuben was happy to oblige and even more happy to plant his seed in her belly. Innloine spent the next few weeks in her favorite part of the house: the bathroom, of course!

Reuben thought it would be best to introduce himself to his new family in his most natural self. This didn’t go over well with anyone, Iris most of all, although later she claimed she was mostly just frustrated with her mother’s choice of home decor.

This man was full of surprises! He not only had four plus sized children–Barry, Collin, Hayley and Joanne–he didn’t tell Innloine about, he then decided to move them in the house without asking or even suggesting.

Innloine was a kind soul and only kicked out the oldest three who were young adults and thus capable of paying rent somewhere else. Joanne, still in high school, was allowed to stay under the condition that she sleep where her stepmother told her to, and stopped eating all the food like her older sister. Reuben, for whatever reason, raised no objections to his wife’s treatment of his youngest child. Maybe because the diet seemed to work. Until she moved out but that’s a different story.

Iris made it a point to stare at Joanne and make her feel uncomfortable. They became fast friends.

One morning Innloine was rushed off to the hospital to give birth to a baby girl, Ivy. Reuben, showing off those fatherly skills of his, stayed home in his pjs and watched Oprah reruns.

Iris showed off her love for new baby sis by attempting to abandon Ivy at the local gym.

The baby was fed and cleaned regularly but mostly ignored while her mother spent time gossiping about Stiles with Jared. In front of Stiles. Ivy would become a toddler with little to no fanfare.

In a rare appearance of karma, Innloine also had a birthday and was ignored throughly by her own daughter Isabelle. Innloine didn’t seem to notice the lack of notice she was paid.

Showing she really is like her mother even if she looks nothing like her, Isabelle was rejected outright for a first kiss by Osvaldo Goth. He patted her on the shoulder and told her to “cheer up, kid”. The next day she put on perfume, spiked his cola, and made out on the couch while Innloine looked on and thought of buying condoms “just in case”.